OPED: Who is backing Trump? Let's read some emails
One of the joys of writing about presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump is getting feedback from his supporters, most of whom share the candidate's famous penchant for tact and kindness.
The responses to a recent column — in which I thanked Trump for his "casual sexism" and for behaving like "a thin-skinned child with poor impulse control" — were predictably fantastic.
I'm going to share some of the email I received so you can have an answer to the common question: Who are these people who support Trump?
These are notes that actual human beings wrote to another human being. They aren't made up, and they haven't been embellished. I've replaced profanities, vulgarities and other inappropriate slang with parenthetical explanations that are appropriate to print.
With that, let's meet some Trump supporters!
Subject line: "America loves seeing Trump spank media!"
Email: "America loves it everytime Trump spanks the (offensive word for person with an intellectual disability) and corrupt media. He invites them into his den and then humiliates them, what a guy! Trump the alpha male shows he has the guts to be not only the president of the United States but leader of the known universe. Trump is doing what Bush and other Repubs were too much of a (slang word for part of female anatomy) to do. Rex, please try to attend a Trump press conference so he can have a bowel movement on you as well. Have a great life with President Trump."
I didn't change "bowel movement." The reader actually wrote that. Must be a doctor — very clinical.
Subject line: "Thanks"
Email: "For being a (profanity ending in "hole") and writing falsehoods about Trump. (Offensive slang term ending in "bags") like you should be fired. He is trying to turn around this country from almost 8 years of the other (profanity ending in "hole") running this country. I can't wait till he wins and then watch you kiss his (profanity for "butt")."
Subject line: "You keep us so energized we can't thank you enough!"
Email: "Rex Baby, We look forward to reading more of your liberal pablum bashing of Trump to keep us energized and a reason to push for a landslide in November. You are the great motivator for us. We've read where most of you leftist media propagandists are members of the LGBT community. So, are you a female posing as a male or simply a limp wristed Beta male who hangs with the transvestites. just asking! Best of luck to you darling, (try to contain yourself if you (term for a solo sex act) to my picture)."
As Trump would say: Classy!
Subject line: "Keep writing your comical trash so the polls soar!"
Email: "Hi there Rex, What would Trump do without propagandists like you showing the American people what frauds you media types are. Us Trumpsters will have a lot to thank you for when he wipes out Crooked Hillary, as without you it would not have been possible. We will be in your debt forever for helping Donald and his hot wife replace Commie Obama and his transgender wife Michelle. You will be on suicide watch after Trump gets elected but you made your own bed of course."
Subject line: "The media is America's bowel movement!"
Email: "Rex darling, America has disowned the print media long ago. Propagandists like you posing as unbiased journalists have been exposed for the frauds that you are. Bush should have taken a bowel movement on the media like Trump is doing. Have a great day sweetheart."
Another email with a bowel movement reference can't be a coincidence, so I'm guessing this is a Trump fan using two separate email accounts to give me the old hate-mail double whammy.
As Trump would say: Sad!
There were three other pro-Trump emails, but they were either more of the same or conspiratorial rants about Hillary Clinton.
If you find these responses in any way depressing — and you should — let me lift your spirits:
I received a total of eight pro-Trump emails in the wake of Thursday's column. The number of emails from anti-Trump readers who liked the column was more than 25.
Trump fans are losing. And that's something they, like their insult-hurling hero, simply can't stand.
— Rex Huppke is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Readers may email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.