Noooooo! Muppets Kermit and Miss Piggy split


BEVERLY HILLS — ABC is bringing the beloved Muppets back for a prime-time mockumentary-style show this fall, but one has to wonder if there will be turbulence on the set.

During a news conference Tuesday morning at the Television Critics Association Press Tour, Kermit the Frog revealed that he and Miss Piggy have "gone our separate ways romantically" and that, yes, it "can be tough to work with your ex."

When a reporter asked Kermit — human reporters were indeed actually conversing with felt creatures — if there was any chance the romance could be rekindled, he replied: "It's personal. I don't want to go into it too much. There will be an official statement released to the press."

Miss Piggy, ever the diva, showed up late to the session and reflected on the demise one of Hollywood's most fabled relationships.

"Dating Moi is like flying close to the sun," she admitted. "It was inevitable that Kermit would drop down to the ground while I stayed in the heavens."

Kermit, meanwhile, revealed that he has moved on. The famous amphibian is currently dating Denise, a marketing executive at ABC, who also happens to be a swine.

"I do have an attraction to pigs," Kermit admitted.

Here is the official statement released on behalf of both camps:

"After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, we have made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship. We will continue to work together on television and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter ... unless we get the right offer. Thank you for your understanding."