T his was going to be a column about Wrightsville Elementary School Principal Donald Gillett sleeping on the roof of his school last night.
It was going to be a column about Gillett possibly sleeping up on the roof of the school building a couple weeks from now.
And looking a little green around the gills for his trouble.
Gillett, if you haven't already heard, was paying off a pledge he made with the students in his elementary school -- if the students read at least 2,000 books as part of the York Revolution's Boomer's Book Club program, he agreed to sleep every night on the roof of the school until the Revolution lost a game.
As luck -- and a bunch of determined students -- would have it, the kids in the school read 4,293 books, more than double the number needed to win the bet.
So Wednesday night was Gillett's first night roughing it up on the roof.
And Thursday night was the season-opening game for the Revolution.
So if the Revs won last night, Gillett would have been back up on the schoolhouse roof.
But if the Revs lost, Gillett might have gotten home in time to bed down in his own environs.
This was going to be a column about bad choices by Gillett.
It was going to be a column where I questioned whether Gillett was smarter than the average bear.
To Gillett's credit, this wasn't his idea. If it had been his idea, we might have wondered if he was smart enough to be an elementary school principal.
But it was the students, four students, in particular, -- third-graders Maya Gohn, Eva Cox, Victoria Zerbe and Abygail Ash -- who came up with the idea.
Gillett, being the nice guy he apparently is, went along with it as a way to motivate the students in his building to pick up a book and read.
It was going to be a column where I suggested Gillett should have studied the plan, I mean really take a good look at it. No snap decisions.
Because the York Revolution was playing the Bridgeport Bluefish in the opening series. It was playing at the Revs' home stadium. It was a four-game series. The Bluefish placed second in the Liberty Division last season, with a 67-72 record.
So it's not that the Bluefish weren't a serious opponent.
Except that York also finished second last season, only with 12 more wins in a 140-game season than the Bluefish had.
And the Revs are better this year than last.
This was going to be a column where I pointed out the Revs' advantage on the pitching mound.
Maybe Gillett didn't bother to study the Revs' roster.
Maybe he's not a particularly rabid baseball fan.
Maybe he knows nothing about baseball at all.
But this was going to be a column where I suggested he was going to learn.
And it could have been the hard way.
Consider, for example, that half the Revs 12-man pitching staff has Major League experience. Six. That's a bunch.
Then consider that three infielders have Major League experience.
And the entire outfield has played in the Major Leagues at one time or another.
This was going to be a column where I pointed out how impressive that is.
When you're starting the season with almost half your roster having played at the top level of professional baseball, it sends a message that York is in it to win it, as American Idol judge Randy Jackson likes to say.
This was going to be a column where I said it's within the realm of possibility that the Revs could go a very long time without losing.
I was going to say I wouldn't bet the ranch the Revs couldn't run off a 10- or 12-game winning streak right off the bat.
A 12-game win streak would have taken us through the end of April. Five more wins would get us through the first weekend in May.
This was going to be a column where I was NOT going to say it would be done, only that it could be done.
And I was going to remind everyone how difficult it is getting a good night's sleep on a concrete roof.
Because, after all, the Revs are loaded this season. They might never lose. Or it could be a very long time before they lost.
This was going to be a column where I said these things very often have a way of backfiring on a person.
Gillett started out wanting to do a good thing, wanting to set a good example for a bunch of kids.
And he ends up stiff and sore and miserable as a reward for his good intentions.
This was going to be a column where I snickered a bit and reminded Gillett it was going to rain like crazy tonight and paint a picture of him suffering up on the schoolhouse roof.
No good deed goes unpunished, I was going to say.
But the Revs lost, 1-0, to those darned Bluefish.
Which means Gillett probably slept in his own bed last night and is none the worse for wear.
It was going to be that kind of column.
Columns by Larry A. Hicks, Dispatch columnist, run Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org.