How bad is "Incredible Crew" (8 p.m., Cartoon Network)?
Let's just say "Incredible" requires us to sit through contrived bits featuring adolescents trying too hard to be comedians. And the first episode is called "Fart ing Grandpa." And there's a belabored comedy rap video.
There's a reason professional critics don't attend high school plays or grammar school musical
pageants and give them bad
reviews. It's pointless, cruel and beside the point. The kids have feelings -- and parents, who have feelings, too.
I'm sure the kids on "In credible" have parents. But since they're on a major cable network, taking up valuable space that should be assigned to cartoons, I figured I'd give them professional treatment.
"Incredible" is clearly inspired by online video clips. There's an emphasis on the silly and the loud. In fact, almost every short (but not short enough) sketch begins or ends with a screaming child or young adult. This might be an attention-getter if you're sifting through a billion piano-playing cats on YouTube, but it's painful to watch on what we used to call television.
I don't believe in torture, even if it worked on "24" and in "Zero Dark Thirty." But "In credible Crew" could be used in what they call "enhanced interrogation." Any adult (or, at least, those not directly related to the cast) subjected to this would break in about two
---Television's revolving door keeps spinning. The ambitious, if plodding, conspiracy thriller "Last Resort" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-14) concludes its first and last season, as an unexpected battle puts the sub in peril. Tonight also marks the penultimate episode of "30 Rock" (8 p.m., NBC, TV-14). A two-part series finale airs next Thursday.
---New York is said to be the inspiration for the designers on the 11th season opener of
"Project Runway" (8 p.m., Lifetime, TV-PG). Somehow, I think I've heard that before. Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn and Nina Garcia return, along with featured judge Zac Posen and guest judge Christian Siriano, who won season four of "Runway."
---Auditions continue on "Amer ican Idol" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-14).
---April and Leslie argue that women are underrepresented in government on "Parks and Recre ation" (8:30 p.m., NBC, TV-PG).
---Dwight goes all out to keep Darryl on "The Office" (9 p.m., NBC, TV-PG).
---Female students feel empowered by a Sadie Hawkins Day dance on "Glee" (9 p.m., Fox, TV-14).
---Bright but socially awkward contestants vie for prizes and esteem in the competition "King of the Nerds" (10 p.m., TBS).
---The guys' plans for Billy hit a snag on "Legit" (10:30 p.m., FX, TV-MA).
Ron Silver plays brash attorney Alan Dershowitz as he defends callous blue blood Claus von Bulow (Jeremy Irons) in the 1990 legal drama "Reversal of Fortune" (10:15 p.m., Sundance).
---Game play has serious consequences for Sheldon on "The Big Bang Theory" (8 p.m., CBS, r, TV-14).
---A new danger emerges on "The Vampire Diaries" (8 p.m., CW, TV-14).
---Lyndsey and Alan feel stale on "Two and a Half Men" (8:30 p.m., CBS, r, TV-14).
---A cold case leads Reese closer to Finch's abductor on "Person of Interest" (9 p.m., CBS, r, TV-14).
---A new arrival annoys the staff on "Grey's Anatomy" (9 p.m., ABC, TV-14).
---Vincent's former fiancee learns of his survival on "Beauty and the Beast" (9 p.m., CW, TV-PG).
---Charlie dates an ex-patient on "Anger Management" (9:30 p.m., FX, TV-MA).
---Emily makes a diplomatic gaffe on "1600 Penn" (9:30 p.m., NBC, TV-PG).
---A murder is terribly familiar on "Elementary" (10 p.m., CBS, r, TV-14).
---Amanda's past falls under scrutiny on "Scandal" (10 p.m., ABC, r, TV-14).
---Christopher Walken is scheduled on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (11 p.m., Comedy Central),
---Adam Scott and Mo Mandel appear on "Conan" (11 p.m., TBS).
---Scott Caan, Greg Fitzsimmons, Natasha Leggero and Ross Mathews are booked on "Chelsea Lately" (11 p.m., E!).
---Tavi Gevinson sits down on "The Colbert Report" (11:30 p.m., Comedy Central).
---Denzel Washington and Paul Banks appear on "Late Show With David Letterman" (11:35 p.m., CBS, r).
---Jay Leno welcomes Dustin Hoffman, Kenny Loggins and Blue Sky Riders on "The Tonight Show" (11:35 p.m., NBC).
---Matt Damon appears on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" (11:35 p.m., ABC).
---Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maggie Q and Michael Kiwanuka visit "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (12:35 a.m., NBC, r).
---Tom Hanks and Quentin
Tarantino appear on "The Late Late Show" (12:35 a.m., CBS, r).
Kevin McDonough can be reached at email@example.com.